Help Is A Hindrance, Changes + Life Update

Hello! It's been a while since I last posted a blog post on here so I'll add an update right here.
Feeling let down
Ever since I graduated from university two years ago, I've been let down, put down and hurt, time and time again. I've been unhappy because pretty much every situation I've been in, there's always been someone who's been horrible and nasty to me. To make things worse, I've been trying to change my life in what feels like forever but my life has been at a standstill. I've been trying to get help regarding my living situation but no-one has helped me. I've made numerous calls, sent lots of emails and I've been in touch with so-called 'experts' but nothing has worked. Instead, I receive nothing but judgment, condescending messages and spiteful comments, all under the guise of 'helpful advice.' I've even had people project their own issues onto me, shame me for my choices and try to control my narrative.

One of my friends said something to me a while back and it has stuck ever since. She said: "Sometimes people can be more problematic than helpful." She's right: some people thinking they're doing me a favour but they're more of a hindrance than a help. I've received a lot of advice that, if I'd taken on, would have been detrimental to my wellbeing. I've tried seeking help and I feel as though I've not received the support I'm entitled too. It's like the door is being slammed in my face over and over again. It's as if I'm screaming out and people are choosing not to hear me.

So - and this sounds strange - I've decided to stop seeking 'help' and I've decided to take matters into my own hands instead. After all, I know what's best for me and no-one is going to help me but myself. I've come up with a plan, which consists of actionable steps that will help me change my life in the long term. Even though I still feel angry for being let down, I feel glad because I know my potential, I know what I'm capable of and I now have more control over my next steps, so now I can call the shots.

Being selective
Something I've come to realise recently is that all my life, people seem to berate me for being picky and choosy. But it's not a bad thing! The final straw came a few months ago and I realised that most of the people who have been in my life have always expected me to settle for less instead of encouraging me to do better.

I don't want to settle for less, at least not anymore. I call the shots and I have the right to make the correct decision for myself. If I want to take my time until I find the perfect career opportunity, I will. If I want to take my time to find the right property, I will. If I want to take my time to build up my business, I will. If I want to wait until I've said up enough money before securing my financial goals, I will. I have every right to be picky and choosy. I have every right to trust my instincts. I've been in bad situations all my life so I've got to do what's right for me and as a smart and grown adult, I have to do what's in my best interests. After all, I am responsible for myself and my life.

Scaling back and making some changes
I'm not satisfied with my life and I haven't been for the longest time, if ever, so I've decided to take a step back and re-evaluate some things. Coping mechanisms and 'throwing myself' into things are tactics that no longer work for me. If something's not working then something's got to change.

In terms of my personal life, I'm still spending a lot of time on my own, and I'm really loving my company. It's something I've had to get used to so I'm good. I have zero time for toxic people. I have no time to deal with rude and disrespectful people who cross my boundaries, don't respect my right to make my own choices, interrogate me, don't appreciate my efforts, are deliberately obtuse, and disregard my humanity.

In the long run, I've decided that I'd quite like to 'press the reset button' and establish and a new life elsewhere.

In terms of my career, I've had a bit of a rethink.

I started freelancing several months after I graduated from university. Making the leap into self-employment was one of the best decisions I made. My freelance journey has been full of trial and error (plus many ups and downs) but I've learned a lot. As well as building up my skills as a copywriter and blogger and keeping myself busy, I've learned a lot about myself. I now see what I am capable of, despite what others might think of me. I'm organized, dedicated, self-motivated, clever and self-disciplined. I'm a boss! Plus, I've worked with some of the most amazing clients and I feel so blessed to have had the power and the tenacity to work with some of the most wonderful people.

However, there have been a lot of struggles along the way and my mindset is gradually changing. Freelancing is great (and I'd always suggest it if you can) but I want/need something more. I was something for myself. I've struggled with the lack of stability and low finances for so long, and that's not good for me.

It's time to make a change so I've decided to seek out my dream job, related to what I do now. Now, I won't quit freelancing, and I will continue to work with my current clients because they are so wonderful (and it's nice to have extra money). But I've seen some fantastic opportunities and I want to take them on, so if there's an offer on the table, I will go full steam ahead, so to speak. This falls in line with my desire to move away.

I'll always be open to freelance work, but I will no longer search, bid and apply. As a freelancer who's always keeping myself in the know, I've tried pretty much every trick in the book: setting up an email newsletter, establishing a business website, constantly marketing myself, etc etc. But I feel so overwhelmed and I just don't have the time anymore. When you freelance you do have to deal with the added 'extras' like admin, but trying to do everything meant that I was exhausted and consumed by work, and it meant that I was spreading myself thin and not focusing on the content/copy aspect.

I've had to scale back because a lot of the 'techniques' that I was following and applying to my life weren't working for me and they just were effective enough. I've deleted my MailChimp account. I've taken down my business website. I am no longer writing my ebook. I've re-done my two CVs and added more articles to my online portfolio.

I've decided to establish my own platform, and that will become my business in the future. This means that in my current blogging journey, I'll be switching gears.

On another note...
I'm enjoying the sunshine! It's nice to have warm weather and seeing the sun has given my mood a boost.


What have you been up to recently?

2 comments

  1. I can't wait to see where your new path takes you! It sucks that people we think would helpful and encouraging end up killing our vibe, but I'm glad your taking the wheel for your future(: Can't wait to see how far you go!

    Nikki O.
    Her Daring Thoughts

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