35 Things I've Learned Since I Graduated

Thursday, May 04, 2017


I graduated from university last year in July, and since then my life has been full of ups and downs.



For the most part, things have been horrible for me, but I'm glad about the positives - freelancing, moving back to London, seeing my friends more, blogging, networking and attending exclusive events - as well as trying to establish myself, achieve my goals and change my life.

I don't really regret anything, but if I could turn the clock back and make different decisions then I would have done. In fact, I would have made better preparations for this period of my life while I was at university. Right now though, I'm looking towards the future and I've come to the conclusion that in order to completely change my life, I need to make some radical changes because even though I am trying to move on with my life, I feel as though I am constantly stuck in a vicious cycle and I've had enough.

Also, I'm not sorry for anything that's happened since I graduated, and I take zero responsibility for the all the horrible things I have been put through. I tried my best to do well, work hard and treat people with kindness, but my efforts were constantly thrown back in my face. A lot of bad stuff happened to me and I was treated so poorly by so many people. Plus, I don't take too kindly to people messing me around, using me, manipulating me, trying to control me and putting me down. I'm never going to apologise for who I am and I am never going to let anyone make me feel ashamed of myself ever again.

Anyway, here are the things I've learned from my experiences since I graduated from university -  the things I wish I'd been told before I graduated.

1. People aren't as nice and caring as they seem, and most people don't have your best interests at heart. In fact, most people don't care about you.

2. Learning doesn't stop once you leave education, and there are so many opportunities to open your mind and broaden your horizons.

3. Trying to appease others is a total waste of time so don't bother. The right people will see and accept you for who you are, and they won't expect you to prove your worth and impress them.

4. If you can't find the opportunities you want, then create them.

5. Trust your intuition. If something doesn't feel right, then chances are it's not. Do what is right for you.

6. You are not responsible for someone else's failures.

7. Don't try your best for those who don't appreciate you and your efforts.

8. You are worthy, but the feelings of self-worth, self-love, self-respect, happiness and fulfilment must always come from within.

9. Distance yourself from those who dismiss your feelings and don't recognise your humanity, because it is better to be surrounded by people who acknowledge your humanity, not tear it down.

10. Working hard to fund someone else's dreams and lifestyle (while neglecting to focus your goals and your own dreams) is not a way to make a living for yourself.

11. You are not responsible for other people's behaviours towards you. Other people's actions (and words) towards you are not a reflection on who you are as a person.

12. Age is not an excuse for bad behaviour. If someone treats you poorly, it's not because they're young, it's simply because they are horrible.

13. Being sensitive is not a bad thing at all. The most important thing is to surround yourself with people who understand that and distance yourself from those who are spiteful and disrespectful because of it.

14. It is better to be in control of your destiny instead of putting it into the hands of someone else and hoping for the best. You have the potential to establish your own career and your own life in your own right.

15. Some things are not all they are cracked up to be. A potential opportunity may have the potential to turn sour, and sometimes things just don't work out.

16. Not everyone can work in a traditional 9-5 job - and that's okay! There is nothing wrong with wanting something different from the so-called 'norms' of society. In fact, that applies to most things in life.

17. Certain people will find any opportunity to put you down and throw you under the bus, as well as trying to manipulate, deceive, dehumanise, demonise and scapegoat you. Watch out. There are plenty of sneaky snakes in the grass waiting to catch you out, trip you up and set you up for a fall. Be careful and watch your back at all times. Some people are so vicious and two-faced.

18. Success comes in a variety of ways and can take many forms. There is no set route or one way to success.

19. If someone "worries" about you over stupid and superficial things, then they really don't care about you.

20. Achieving your goals will take time. Have faith, courage, confidence and patience.

21. You can't help everyone (especially those who are unwilling to help themselves) and you can only be responsible for yourself.

22. No matter how hard you try, and no matter how kind, good, tolerating or accommodating you are, you will never be good enough to certain people, and there will always be people who will find any excuse to put you down regardless. The most important thing is to surround yourself with the individuals who love, respect, appreciate and value you for the wonderful person that you know you are.

23. Don't associate yourself with those who judge you and make assumptions about you instead of getting to know you properly.

24. Some people will turn their backs on you when the chips are down. They're not worth it in the long run.

25. Being meticulous is not a bad trait to possess. Taking time to complete tasks is not about being 'slow', it's about getting the job done in the right way to the best of your ability.

26. Only you know what's best for yourself.

27. People who try to change you and mould you into something you're not are not worth, regardless of their intentions.

28. Solitude is amazing. Sometimes it's better to be on your own.

29. You'll never fit it and follow the herd, but that's okay. It is more important to be content with who you are.

30. You are not perfect (no one is) and that's okay. We are not defined by our imperfections.

31. Life is too short for drama. It's best to keep away from it because drama is toxic, draining, unhealthy and damaging.

32. If something or someone is making you miserable, then it's best to walk away instead of putting up with it/them. Never put up with anything or anyone that does not serve to make you happy.

33. You'll miss university life once you leave.

34. Where there's a will, there's a way. Whatever you want to achieve, just do it.

35. Life is a journey, not a destination.

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