25 Things My Childhood Taught Me

Thursday, June 16, 2016


I went through a lot as a child, and the things I went through still affect me now.

It's interesting to look back at my childhood with the benefit of adult hindsight, and now I view my childhood for what it actually was.  It was absolutely horrible and it shaped how I see the world now.  My life is quite difficult too.  As a result of my horrific childhood I have a lot of issues: I'm a misanthropist, I can't trust people, I find it difficult making friends, I'm extremely guarded, I am prone to attracting toxic people because they automatically perceive me as weak (even though I'm not) so I am distant from people and therefore unable to form social relations, and I'm an introvert (although that's not a bad thing.  That's in my nature anyway.)

My childhood was also a confusing time because I received a lot of mixed messages, all of which were toxic, so my head was often in a tailspin, but my childhood made me question and challenge everything I was raised to believe in.  Now I don't know what to believe in anymore, so I've decided to form my own personal beliefs, values, morals and philosophies.  I'm not a traditional person who takes things at face value, and I don't see things through rose-tinted glasses.

My childhood taught me a lot, and I learned a lot of lessons the hard way...

1. Blood is NOT thicker than water.

2. Skinfolk ain't kinfolk.

3. Maturity does NOT come with age.

4. Respect is mutual: it goes both ways.

5. Children are people too, and they deserve to be treated in the right way.

6. The quest for perfectionism is damaging and soul-destroying.

7. Material items don't buy happiness.

8. Emotional well-being is just as important as physical well-being, and they go hand in hand.

9. People who truly love you will see the good in you, respect you and appreciate you no matter what.  They will not expect you to seek validation and approval from them, and they will not expect you to prove, explain or justify yourself to them.  I was constantly interrogated as a child and that's wrong.  Someone who truly loves you and knows you well would never treat you like that.

As the saying goes:
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

10. Not all friends are good friends.  Some friends are extremely toxic.

11. Teachers don't always know what's best for you.

12. Parents don't always know what's best for you.

13. Adults don't always know what's best for you.

14. Just because something is a part of culture/society/religion, doesn't mean it's okay.

15. No one is right about everything, and no one is perfect.

16. The decisions you make when you're young can affect you when you're an adult.  For example, if you choose to stay focused on your studies instead of messing around then chances are you are more likely to go far in your education.

17. Sometimes being the good kid doesn't always work.  You could be the best kid in the world but if the people around you don't love you or appreciate you then how 'good' you are doesn't matter (to them) and it makes no difference: people treat you how they want to treat you regardless of how/who you are.  No matter what you do, people will always find an excuse to judge you and put you down.

18. You can't please all of the people all of the time.

19. Non-conformity is something that should be embraced, not vilified.

20. Kids shouldn't raise kids.  In fact, not everyone should have/raise kids.

21. The same people who protect you are the same people who could hurt you.

22. Not everyone is trustworthy.

23. Not everyone is kind.  There are a lot of mean-spirited people out there.

24. Sometimes you have to stand on your own two feet, because not everyone will be there for you when the chips are down.

25. It's important to treasure your childhood.  Make the most of it because once it's gone, it's gone.  Unfortunately, I haven't got much to treasure because I didn't have a proper childhood.

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