Six Ways To Be Sassy

Being sassy is the coolest thing ever.  It's one of the best traits a person (especially a woman) should have.

However, being assertive is something I've struggled with all my life, so being sassy is something I've been able to do.  Throughout my childhood, standing up for myself was something that was always viewed as a bad thing.  There have been times where I have felt unable to stand up for myself, and there have been times where I felt like I couldn't be assertive even though I should have been.  I always felt like my right to a voice was always being taken from me, and I was always made to feel as though I had to tolerate people treating me like shit.  I was expected to put up and shut up, and that's not right at all.  I didn't have a role model for assertiveness.  I think I was sometimes afraid to stick up for myself and fight back (even though I'm a fighter at heart) because I was always worried that the person/people I stood up against would react badly.  This has happened to me before and it's not nice, but I've realised that if someone reacts like that then they're not a nice person and they are not true to me and my needs.  Sometimes standing up for yourself filters the bad people out of my life and that's not a bad thing (I'll explain this later on in my post.)

I think in this world being a sassy woman is viewed as bad thing, but that's so wrong.  It doesn't have to be that way, and I actually admire strong, sassy, powerful, confident and assertive women!  Especially Black women.

Anyway, I've learned the hard way that in order to navigate life and deal with situations (and idiots) properly, I have to be a sassy chick (not the baby bird).  It's the best way to be!  I used to think that being sassy was something you were born with - either you have it or you don't.  I used to see confident people and think "I want to be like that."  Over the years my confidence (and self-esteem) has been improving, but it's not been easy.  I had CBT for low self-esteem but it didn't really work for me.  I'm still learning how to be confident though, but I'm getting there.  Over the past few months I've noticed a change in myself, but maybe that's because I can't tolerate being treated like shit and not getting what I want.

Being sassy doesn't mean being rude, aggressive, arrogant and bitchy.  Being sassy means standing up for yourself and standing up for what you want and what you believe in.  Being sassy means being being yourself and not apologising for it.  Being sassy means standing tall (even if you're not tall), looking someone in the eye, speaking clearly and being straightforward (not too blunt.)  Being sassy means being a little bit bold and a little bit brazen.  Being sassy means being a little bit witty.  Being sassy means feeling the fear but doing what you want to do anyway.  Being sassy means not bowing down to what society/culture/others think you should be.  Being sassy means not caring what others think, and not needing to seek approval/validation from others or pleasing others.  Being sassy means being who you are, knowing who you are, and being self-assured.

I've learned several ways to be sassy:

1. Say no.
If something isn't right for you, say no!  Don't feel guilty!

2. Be confident and assertive.
Being confident and assertive is the best way to be, and it shows in the way you talk and your body language.  Being able to assert yourself as a confident being means that you are standing up for your personal rights.  In my opinion I view assertiveness as an essential life skill, and as an invisible filter: it filters through the good people and the bad people who don't want what's best for you.  Think about it this way: if you are assertive (not aggressive, there's a difference) and a 'friend' reacts badly by not respecting your wishes and being pushy and aggressive, then they're not being good to you.  It's time to kick them to the curb.  People who react badly to assertiveness are the worst in my opinion.

3. Be smart and quick-thinking.
This is so important because in certain situations you need be prepared to have something to say in response (e.g. if a certain someone is bringing you down.)

4. Be brave and fearless.
Don't be afraid to be who you are, and stand up for yourself and what you believe in.  Pursue your interests, goals, passions and ambitions.  Set out to be the person you can be.  Live life on your own terms.  Stand up in the face of adversities and society's short-sighted expectations.  Never back down.

5.  Be direct, straight-forward and honest.
Speak openly and clearly.  Look at the other person in the eye and say what you want/need to say.  Communicating effectively is very important.

6. Be happy and secure with who you are.
Be strong and self-assured.  Never be ashamed of who you are, and embrace your good traits.  Believe in yourself.

Do you have any tips on being sassy?  What do you think it means to be sassy?

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