Confessions of A Non-Conformist

Saturday, March 19, 2016

Spot the difference.
I am a non-conformist by definition and by nature.

All my life - literally my entire life - I've always been the 'Odd One Out.'  I've always felt like the Black Sheep.  I've always been the outsider and I've never been one to fit in, no matter how hard I tried to do so.  It's not like I was deliberately non-conformist, I just happened to have some things about myself that were "different" from others, and I always stood out like a sore thumb.

For a long time - throughout my childhood and teenage years - I felt awful about not being able to fit in and I was made to feel bad for being different.  I was excluded, rejected and turned against.  I wasn't accepted.  I tried my hardest to change/sacrifice myself for the sake of fitting in.  At one point, making myself 'perfect' for others in order to be liked and to be accepted was my ultimate 'goal.'

Now I just don't care.

I don't believe in following the crowd.  I never have and I never will.  My efforts to fit in were clearly and do what others wanted were "never good enough" anyway.  So what is/was the point?  I am who I am and 'the herd' will never change that.

I'd rather surround myself with people who accept me for who I am.

Speaking of following the herd - I don't do things because "that's the way it is/I have to/that's the way things are/that's the way things are done."  I challenge things.  I'm risk-averse, but I like breaking the mould.  I like thinking outside the box.  I'm a big believer in growth, maturity and progress so following the herd is extremely stifling.

I like dancing to the beat of my own drum so to speak, and I'd rather do that instead of dancing to someone else's drum!


I don't care about someone else's dogma.  I don't care about following someone else's beliefs and values.  I don't believe in the Lifescript.  I have my own mind, I'm not dumb, I am smart, I am more than capable of thinking for myself and I'd rather live my life for myself.  I refuse to live in accordance with other people' expectations.

I don't want other people's approval and validation anymore.  I really don't care.  In fact, I couldn't care less!  I've reached a point in my life where I'm sick and tired of trying.  It's not like I ever achieved anything substantial by trying to please others.  All I ever gained was a sense of misery.


As a result of choosing not to care about not fitting, I've had to accept the fact that not everyone will like me, but that's okay.  It doesn't make a difference to me.  Some people didn't like me when I was trying so hard to fit in with their standards, so either way I can't win!  Some people will still dislike you no matter what!

I must admit, being a non-conformist can be challenging, and sometimes it can be isolating.  As a child it was my 'ambition' to feel as though I belonged to something, so experiencing exclusion and rejection was very difficult to deal with.  It's hard when society (in a nutshell) tells you you must fit in with certain standards otherwise something's 'wrong' with you.  I honestly believe that in order to be a non-conformist, you need to be very 
strong, confident, sassy, assertive, independent, not easily influenced by others, able to think for yourself and thick-skinned, because sometimes it's hard to navigate life when loads of people are constantly trying to shove their dogmas down your throat.  Often I have had to fight (not in the physical way) against people who made it their mission to mould me into something I'm not.

But...

I've finally accepted being the 'odd one out,' whatever that means.


I've accepted that I'll never fit in.  I can't fit in with other people's standards.  I can't be what other people want me to be, and I don't want to.

I'd rather be happy being myself, living my life my way, even if it means being hated by some people (who clearly don't respect me and couldn't care less about me.)

"I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for something I'm not."

I'd rather be hated to being an individual than loved for being a fully-fledged member of the herd.

I don't try to be something I'm not, and why should I?  That's fake.  I'd rather be me, myself and I! :)

For a very long time I had planned to write this post - it's been in draft mode for ages - but after reading Scarlett's post on not fitting in I decided to finish writing it and get it published!

Are you a non-conformist?

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