Why I Don't Believe In Forgiveness

Monday, February 29, 2016


People always say to me "You should forgive.  You have to forgive."

I don't have to do anything.

I admit, I am not the most forgiving person and in my honest opinion some things are just totally unforgivable.

I used to feel so guilty about choosing not to forgive people who had done me wrong, and other people would make me feel guilty about that too, but then I realised that I have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.  If I am badly hurt by somebody then I won't forgive them, and that's that.

Only you can decide if someone is worth forgiving.  You shouldn't feel as though you have to forgive.  It is not something you should force yourself to do.

I have been hurt so many times in the past by so many people who did me wrong.  I suffered for so long, blamed myself and beat myself up about other people's actions.  Then I felt bad for not feeling able to forgive anyone, but now I recognise that the most important thing for me is to do is to forgive myself.  That's a vital part of my healing process.  I don't owe anyone forgiveness and I don't need to justify or explain myself to anyone.

And I'm fine.  Contrary to popular belief, I don't feel bitter or resentful because I refuse to forgive.  In fact, I know I'd feel bitter and resentful whenever I would forgive someone.

And I don't struggle to move on.  I cut my losses, call it a day and get on with my life.  Choosing not to forgive won't hold me back and I refuse to let that happen.

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3 comments

  1. How about when you wrong someone else? Are you okay with people not forgiving you? How sad. I would rather believe in Karma than be okay with unforgiveness. It takes strong people to pursue forgiveness and I pray I will always be strong enough to choose forgiveness.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, normally if I do someone grave wrong then normally I would just apologise which is the right thing to do, but then again, I'm not the type of person who sets out to hurt others, especially the people around me who genuinely love me, respect me, appreciate me and care for me.

      In my opinion there are some things that are just unforgivable, especially when the other person has not apologised for their actions (which has often been the case with me.) It's difficult to forgive someone when they show no remorse and keep on hurting you over and over again. I'm fine with not forgiving someone in those circumstances.

      Delete
  2. How about when you wrong someone else? Are you okay with people not forgiving you? How sad. I would rather believe in Karma than be okay with unforgiveness. It takes strong people to pursue forgiveness and I pray I will always be strong enough to choose forgiveness.

    ReplyDelete

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