#TypesOfPeopleIAvoid

Tuesday, February 23, 2016




I felt like writing this post after seeing this hashtag trend on Twitter, and after reading Florence Grace's post.

I've always made an effort with others but from the summer of 2015 I made an extremely conscious effort to keep my distance from so many people and cut loads of toxic people off.  This wasn't the first time I had done this: as a kid I went through a lot so I from the age of 11 I started avoiding people I didn't like yet I would still attract the wrong ones...long story short but I used to have a group of rubbish "friends" during my GCSE years and once I finished my GCSEs I cut them all off because they weren't nice to me.  I have certain expectations and I didn't deserve to be treated badly by my peers.

Anyway, since last year I decided to keep my distance from so many people at university and cut them off, for various reasons: they were so toxic, I didn't like the way they behaved towards me, and I felt as though I wasn't being treated in the right way.  I'm a kind person yet I felt as though that was seen as prime opportunity by some to take advantage of my sweet-nature, or it was overlooked and I was viewed as a bad person or "not good enough."

I know I always mention it but I think it's always good to avoid toxic people and to keep a healthy distance.  I think I always mention it on my blog because it's taken me ages to take that lesson on board, and I've learned that lesson the hard way.  Also, cutting someone off or keeping your distance is not the easiest thing to do - especially when that person lives with you/is on your course/is a family member/is a family friend/is a friend of a friend - but it has to be done.  Sometimes being civil is not enough - I've learned this the hard way too!  Sometimes people don't want to live a let live!

Since I've kept my distance I have felt more at peace, and that's the way it should be!  I consider avoiding toxic people a form of self-care and self-love.  No more giving shitty people numerous chances.  There's no point when those people just fuck you over in response (sorry but it's true.)



So...these are the types of people I avoid like the plague:

Racists/homophobes/misogynists/ageists/etc...
If you are so ignorant that you choose to hate on others because of something they cannot change about themselves, then exit out of my life before I exit out of yours.  I have no tolerance for ignorance.

Narrow-minded people.
See previous point.

Toxic people.
Toxic people are the worst kinds of people.  They put others down, make others feel bad and find any excuse to pick on people and make the people around them feel miserable.  They influence you negatively and they take more from you than they give back, so I avoid at all costs.

Bullies.
For the same reasons as above.  I can't stand people who take great pleasure in being cruel and taunting others.

Bitches and mean girls (and boys!)
I don't engage in bitchy and mean girl behaviour - catty comments, spitefulness and engaging in pointless gossip.  I don't believe in it, I don't care for it, I don't have time for it and I have no tolerance for it.  I have better things to do with my time.

Two-faced fake people.
People who are nice to your face but then go behind your back and bitch about you.  No! Just no!  I like people who are genuine.  I don't like fake people at all.  People who front are also the worst.

People who are quick to make false accusations.
I absolutely can't stand it when people go around making false accusations about others, especially behind my back.  No!  I hate it when people accuse me of things I haven't done.
This also includes people who jump to conclusions and twist my words.

People who don't show any accountability.
I can't stand people who love to blame-shift and play the blame-game instead of taking responsibility for their actions.  I'd rather not be a part of that game, thank you very much.

Confrontational people.
People who love to start a fight over the smallest things.  Pick a fight with someone else.

Manipulative people.
...or "snakes in the grass" as I like to describe them are just evil in my opinion.  They are the kinds of people who love to twist other people's minds, words and situations for their own gain and personal gratification.  Quite frankly this is pathetic, and slightly dangerous in my opinion.

Arse-kissers.
People who tell me what I want to hear and try to suck up to me.  So fake, and so not genuine.

People who expect me to validation and approval from them.
Newsflash: I don't need validation or approval from anyone.

People who demand an explanation or justification from me.
Newsflash: I don't need to justify or explain myself to anyone.  I don't owe that to anyone.

People who treat me like the "token" Black girl.
FYI, I'm nobody's token.

People who don't respect my boundaries.
I am very strict about my boundaries so when people try to violate my boundaries I feel uncomfortable, resentful, distracted and angry.  My reaction is to distance myself - the more you try to violate my boundaries then I'm likely to find a way to cut you off.  Unfortunately I've dealt with this at university - so-called 'friends' who have become clingy and tried to cross the boundaries of friendship, and have then tried to deliberately harass me, cross my boundaries and make me uncomfortable as much as possible.  I ended up cutting them off and now I feel so relieved. It's just out of order - friends are supposed to respect me as a friend, not disrespect my boundaries.  There are certain lines a true friend should never cross.

Negative and bitter people/people who are extremely critical.
I don't like people who set out to put other people down and make negative comments at any given opportunity.  They make digs, nasty comments and snide remarks.

This is what I think: if you have nothing nice to say then don't say anything at all.

Those who love to shame and judge others...
...and take great pleasure and doing so.  It's so pathetic!

People who don't respect differences in opinion.
I believe in the motto "live and let live" yet I have clashed with others who were unwilling to respect that.

People who don't respect your life choices.
People who don't respect my life choices are more likely to put pressure on me to follow the herd and that's not what I want at all.

Lazy people.
I can't stand people who don't want make something of their lives and just want to sit on their arses all day instead.  Chances are they'll try to hold me back too.

Men who treat women like sex objects and walking wombs.
No.  Just no.

Jealous and insecure people.
I'm extremely wary of the green-eyed monster.  Jealous people tend be insecure, and they will find a way to bring people they are jealous of right down to their level.  I'd rather surround myself with people who support my success rather than feeling bitter about it and trying to tear it down.

Flaky "friends."
'Friends' who find an excuse to bail out of things last minute all the time, and don't bother to make an effort with the friendship.

No thanks, I don't have the time for that.  It's rude.

People who don't support me.
I want to be successful in my life and I'm a very ambitious person, so the last thing I need is some idiot trying to tear down my goals.

Authoritarians.
People who set out to dominate everything make me uncomfortable.  I don't get on with authoritarian people and I tend to clash with them because I'm strong-willed and I absolutely hate being told what to do by anybody.

Ungrateful people.
People who throw my kindness and my efforts back in my face instead of appreciating me make me angry and upset.

Inattentive 'friends.'
My needs are important as well as other people's.  I am human after all.

************************************

It seems like I avoid loads of people, but I have a zero-tolerance for bullshit and I'd rather avoid shitty people instead of putting up with them.

Ciao!


Which types of people do you avoid?

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